I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
how does that bad decision feel?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
