hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
