Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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