Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
