Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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