Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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