My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
