Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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