She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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