Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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