I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
