the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
