Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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