too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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