Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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