Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
