so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
