I skipped work to stalk him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize