I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.