she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some milfs here doing some blow
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good