I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
