Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I believe in your delicious
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
