Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
