last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
