i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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