Its about making memories worth repressing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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