no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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