I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
