That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
