do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
whose ass print is on the piano?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
