The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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