just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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