Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize