this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
