he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
