wat bout pragnant strippers??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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