he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize