All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
