Who wears a wallet chain?!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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