i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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