do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
