on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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