Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize