Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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