I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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