Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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