can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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