We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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