I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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