Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
