i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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