i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize