u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
