All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
