she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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