You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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