I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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