im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
