16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
