She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize