I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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