no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
